Short cuts that leave all the front bastards trailing,
Misleading directions leaving short cutters wailing,
Slippery slopes where hounds flounder in shit,
These are some things that appeal to my wit.
CHORUS:
When the pox stings, and my balls ache,
And my cock is sore,
I cheer myself up with my favorite things,
And revive the old cock once more.
Quims soft and puckered and minge short and curly,
Tight little cunts fringed with spunk white and pearly,
Red painted nipples, an ice cube blow job,
These are the things that will make my cock throb.
Limbs brown and supple, with buttocks gyrating,
Positions amazing, damp cunt lips pulsating,
Cheerful young bodies all eager to screw,
Of my favorite things these are only a few.
The rugby mob buggers all bloated with beer,
The sight of them's foul, it's no wonder, they're queer,
The dear old mismanagement, oh, what a farce,
These are some of the things you can stick up your arse.
A run that was set by those mad hares the Dutch,
A ride in old trucks that you all loved so much,
Some piss that was different with a beer glass thrown in,
Surely a fucking good hash, no hash sin.