A Man of Constant Boners Tune of: A Man of Constant Sorrows

I am a man of constant boners,
I see hooters everywhere.
I will bid farewell to my virginity
Down in the place with pubic hair.

REFRAIN:
Down in the place with pubic hair.

Maybe bimbos think I'm just a half-mind,
Wanker, looking for some whore.
But I guarantee that my pudenda
Will satisfy, and leave them sore.

REFRAIN:
He'll satisfy, and leave them sore.

For six long miles I've been real thirsty,
No six-packs on trail I found.
For on this hash I'm bound to tumble,
I have no beer to help me now.

REFRAIN:
He has no beer to help him now.

I have hashed for hours in some deep valley,
Many falses I have found.
Someday I may learn to skip the buses,
To stay at camp and fuck around.

REFRAIN:
He'll stay at camp and fuck around!

So it's fare thee well to my old liver,
I don't expect it'll be the same.
For I've got to do so many down-downs,
Perhaps I'll get a new hash name

REFRAIN:
Perhaps he'll get a new hash name.