Addicted to the Hash Net 1 Tune of: I Heard It Through the Grapevine

Every mornin' at the crack of dawn,
I turn my computer on.
And though I know that I'll regret,
I log on to the internet.
And like a junkie let out on bail,
(Out on bail)
I gotta have a hit of that E-mail.
(Hit E-mail)

'Cause I'm addicted to the Hashnet.
How much lower can a half-mind get?
Yeah, I'm addicted to the hashnet.
Nine o' clock, ain't got no work done yet.
I should unsubscribe.

My delete key, it's still fried
dumping shit from Access Denied.
Then there's Teats de Swamp and Opie too,
Flying Booger and Screw Ewe.
These worthless postings are getting me pissed.
(Getting me pissed)
They're just tryin' to make that top ten list.
(Top ten list)

Still I'm addicted to the Hashnet
I'm cussin' hashers that I've never met.
Yeah, I'm addicted to the hashnet
Ten o' clock, ain't got no work done yet.
I should unsubscribe.

Now there's nothing that annoys me more
than a Stray Dog flamming war.
Don't they know that they can't win?
Stray Dog's gonna get the last word in.
Though I'm really not threatened by him,
(Threatened by him)
he's like the Hitler of hashing to them.
(Hitler to them)

And I'm addicted to the Hashnet
Debating half-minds is a losing bet
Yeah, I'm addicted to the hashnet
'Leven o' clock, ain't got no work done yet.
I should unsubscribe.

I really laughed at those jokes you know,
when first posted six months ago.
And you know we all take offense
at daily postings for those hash events.
They're all guilty of net abuse
(Net abuse)
just like that fucker with the Nassau cruise.
(Nassau cruise)

And I'm addicted to the Hashnet
A full mailbox really makes me wet
Yeah, I'm addicted to the hashnet
Twelve o' clock, ain't got no work done yet.
I should unsubscribe.

All these hash events I can't attend,
it's road reports on which I depend.
Like CIS and his rum-soaked mind,
he's hounding every hash that he can find.
Is he a bigger voyeur than me?
(Bigger than me)
Always searchin' for hash nudity.
(Hash nudity)

And I'm addicted to the Hashnet
This online time's puttin' me in debt
Yeah, I'm addicted to the hashnet
One o' clock, ain't got no work done yet.
I should unsubscribe.