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If I Were King of the Hash House Tune of: If I Were King of the Forest

If I were King of the Hash House,
Not GM, not OnSec, not Scribe,
The membership of my Hash House,
Would be wimmin, not children, not men.
I'd command Harriettes, brunette and blonde,
With a down and a down of my royal beer!
As I'd click my heel, all the broads would kneel,
And they'd lift their shirts, and their breasts they'd bare,
And they'd worship, my regal staff . . .
If I - if I - were King!

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