I'll Never Piss Again Tune of: Battle Hymn of the Republic

My dick has felt the burning of the coming of the clap,
I've been clean all these years and now I've got a real bum rap,
That bitch said she was clean but she really was a liar,
'Cause now my dick's on fire.

CHORUS:
Lordy, Lordy I'm on fire,
Lordy, Lordy I'm on fire,Lordy, Lordy I'm on fire,
And I'll never piss again.

I saw her coming at me from across the Georgia bar,
Her ass was swinging wildly and her tits were sagging far,
I propped her on a barstool and I bought that bitch a drink,
Then I smelled that telltale stink.

Swedish Bees, Kamikazes, Stolies, and some brew,
My dick was getting hard, man, the big old Wally grew,
She reached into my pants and she pulled that monster out,
Then John Cleveland began to shout.

Well I should have listened to him 'cause he'd been with her before,
That must have been where he got that bloody festered sore,
I should have listened to him when he said she was a whore,
But you knows "Bo needs more."

So I took her on a hash run and that bitch ran fast and hot,
You could almost see the nasty stuff a-dripping out her slot,
And at the On-In, she told me she really wanted to fuck,
But I should have just let her suck.

Now I'm in the doctor's office sitting in the chair,
Nothing like a red hot poker way down deep in there,
The doctor pushed too far and my scrotum began to tear,
God, this really SUCKS.